SUMMER WITH THE BOYS

My parents, who lived in Las Vegas, would keep my son and his cousin for a few weeks in the summer. I would drive from Altadena to Vegas early on Saturday morning to drop my son off for his summer vacation with his grandparents. My son, who is now forty years old, still recalls fondly his summers in Las Vegas with them. So, now that I’m a grandmother, I get to return the favor. My husband and I have been keeping our grandsons for a month each summer for the last three years. The first year, we only kept the oldest grandson, who was almost eight years old. The second year, we tried to get away with only having one grandchild, but my son asked if we could also watch the youngest one. The youngest grandchild was four years old, OMG!

After my husband and I discussed how the heck we were going to watch a four-year-old for a month, we told our son that we would be delighted (ha ha!).

Delighted is not the only word I would use to describe our summers with the boys, but it is certainly a word I would use. Tiring, exhausting, annoying, adventurous, and fun are other words. Spending that much time is a gift not to be taken lightly because there will come a time when they will not want to spend their summers with us.

When I was a single parent for the first fourteen years of my son’s life, I wasn’t able to do a lot of the exciting things I do with my grandkids, but as a retired grandmother, I can do so much more. Our summers are full of eating fast food, going to Big Bear and Wrightwood, swimming, going to the park, bike rides, going for walks, playing ping pong, and stargazing. This summer, we spent a few days at a resort in Indio where they spent their days and nights in the swimming pool. My youngest grandson said we needed a couple more days there. We are definitely going back next year. However, the best times are the times that don’t require any money. It happens when we are sitting around the kitchen table playing Uno or gathered as a family having a movie night. It happens when I feel the youngest grandchild sneak into bed in the wee hours of the morning, reminding me of his father when he was little. Watching the boys playing with their Paw Paw, or when the little one starts dancing, with a big grin on his face, and announces that he’s dancing because he’s happy. It’s in those moments that you wish with all your heart that you could live in that feeling.

The boys went home last night. This morning, the house is quiet, and I miss them already, but I had the best sleep last night!

I CAN'T WAIT...

Do you remember when you couldn’t wait to be a teenager? Being a teenager meant that you weren’t a baby anymore. It meant you were getting closer to being grown. Growing up meant that no one (including your parents) could tell you what to do. It meant you could do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted to. At least that’s what your childish mind thought at the time.

In reality, there was always someone or something else dictating, to a certain extent, what you could do and when you could do it. Whether it was obtaining a degree, working, getting married, or raising kids, there was always something that affected how we lived our lives.

Even in retirement, when I thought I would be free to do whatever I wanted, something still holds me back from doing what I really want to do. As I grew up into a responsible adult with a job, the old saying that my mother liked to quote, “A hard head makes a soft behind,” proved to be true. Even though some of my decisions negatively impacted the course of my life, I’m not sure I would have made a different choice if I had the chance to do it over again.

Being a young adult was an exciting time. I was so naïve, and because of that naivety, I was open to life and rushed, unafraid, into new experiences. There was a sweetness and freshness that I brought with my perspectives and viewpoints that elude me now. I hesitate and look at all the angles before I leap. Some would call it wisdom, others would call it fear. I think it is a little of both, but I also know that I don’t have the luxury of time that youth afford. I can’t wait another ten years to do this thing I’ve been dreaming of. Time is running out for me. Soon I’ll be too old to do what my heart longs to do. I sit with this knowledge, afraid to do the thing I long to do because it will hurt others. So, I wait, and wonder if the day will ever come or if my chance will pass me by.

My book, “Finally, Doing Me!” by Evelyn C. Fortson, is about four women finding the courage to do what makes them happy after years of prioritizing everyone else's happiness. It’s a good read and recommended for anyone who has been dreaming about making a change or simply wants to read about mature women searching for happiness.

This book, along with my other books, is available on Amazon and BookBaby Bookshop. Click the link below:

https://store.bookbaby.com/book/finally-doing-me

www.amazon.com/Finally-Doing-Me-Evelyn-Fortson/dp/1667821385

JUMPING OF BRIDGES

Remember when your mother asked, “Would you jump off a bridge if your friends did?” Well, the irony of that question was that you had already jumped off the bridge, or she wouldn’t be asking the question.  Looking back at all the stupid, reckless stuff I did with friends makes me smile, mostly because I survived it and also because I can hear my mother’s voice again (a voice that speaks beyond her existence).

I remember saying those exact words to my son after he got into some foolishness. But the craziest thing about that conversation was that I waited for him to answer with the correct response of no, just like my mother did with me. When I look at my eleven-year-old grandson, who can’t wait to be a teenager, I wonder if my son will ever ask his son that insane question. If he should ask, I hope he hears my voice and recalls the times I asked him the same thing, and I hope it makes him smile.

The decision to jump or not is a rite of passage that most kids will have to make. What kid hasn’t done something stupid, foolish, or dangerous at the urging of a friend? That’s precisely why parents stay up at night until they hear their kids come home. That’s why mothers pray, and fathers sound like the rumbling of a coming storm when they tell their children to do something. That’s why they stay up at night until they hear the front door open and the patter of their kids' feet sneaking into the house.

When I look back at the times I jumped off bridges, I remember them fondly, but honestly, some of those experiences had negative consequences. So, although jumping off bridges with friends can be adventurous and exciting, that one bad choice can adversely impact one’s future. The only advice I can give to any parent of young kids today is to pray for them daily and speak to them about the times you jumped off bridges with your friends, including the good and bad outcomes of those choices. Let them know that their life will be a series of choices that will become more complex as they grow older, and how important it is for them to make wise choices.