I recently turned sixty-five, and the word courage kept popping into my head. This birthday and one other made me stop and ponder my life. When I turned thirty, I felt as if I should have been further along in life. Thirty, for me, was a rite of passage where I fully entered into adulthood. At thirty, I had a child, a good job, and a mortgage. However, I still didn’t feel like I had measured up to the standard of success I had set for my life because I didn’t have a husband. Looking back, I could see how silly it was to feel that way, but emotions have a way of crushing you and blinding you to all the wonderful things that you have. I can look back now and see how much I had accomplished on my own and how courageous I was.
A few days before my sixty-fifth birthday, the icy hand of fear touched my spine and remained in the background even after my birthday had passed. However, a word rose up in my spirit to combat the fear, Courage. One meaning of courage is “strength in the face of pain or grief.”
Pain and grief were exactly what I was afraid of. Sixty-five is a big number. One could say, “Your days are numbered.” I know I don’t have sixty-five more years ahead of me, so one has to face one's mortality and make peace with it. Fear comes with not knowing how and when it will come and whether it will be a lingering, painful death.
Getting older requires courage. It is not for the faint of heart because your heart will be broken every time someone you love leaves this world. You will need to be strong when you are no longer able to do the things you once did. You will need courage to face the uncertainty of life.
One day, I will look back at my sixty-fifth birthday and think how silly I was. Until then, I gather the courage needed to tap down my fear so that I can enjoy each day and make plans for the future.
Such a beautiful article. I am glad I am not the only one that has these thoughts. I turned 62 in January and I can relate. I realize I have more years behind me than before me. I made up my mind not to dwell on that much because the reality is I only have today. So I try to make a conscious effort to thank God for each day I am here. I ask Him to help me be the best I can be for Him and those around me and I try to enjoy each day as it comes with a good attitude. This is what has helped me.
Thanks for sharing.
I believe that growing older is a blessing. I have lost too many friends and family too soon. I love growing older it has enabled me to see and do many things that I did not have the time to take advantage of in my younger years. Until I close my eyes in death I will always believe that the best is yet to come. Peace.